Your reasons for finding someone are often broader and more diverse; you may not even be really sure if it’s romance you’re looking for at all.

Add those complications to the fact that online dating is, for many people, a thoroughly dispiriting experience, and it’s no wonder that older adults are more likely to rate it as a negative experience than any other demographic. If people are finding love through online dating sites, why does it fail so many others?

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Suddenly there was a different way to find a partner, one that promised practically infinite possibilities, where an algorithm could find you the “right” person without you needing to do the hard work of ever actually talking to them in person.

And if you don’t like what you see, you can always click on to the next profile – there is always another candidate just around the corner!

In the US, online dating is now the second most common way for heterosexual couples to meet (behind introductions through friends). After millions of years of human evolution, and thousands of years of the development of human society, humans had settled on the idea that in-person interactions through fun, face-to-face social activities were the best way to meet new people.

And then along came online dating to blow that idea away.

There is increasing evidence that, in face-to-face meetings, we are subconsciously picking up clues about the suitability of future partners based on a wide variety of non-verbal information.

Online dating lures us with the false promise of an “ideal” partner so much that we apply filters that ensure we never get to meet that person in the first place.

The promise of making it easier to find your “ideal” companion by letting you add filters to hone in on specific requirements has actually had the opposite effect, diminishing your pool to the point it becomes almost impossible to find anyone!