Kids can sense when someone is being pushy to make a good impression and this often has the opposite effect.

It didn’t matter how skinny I was, I was the big 4-1.

I was officially “middle aged” and in need of Botox and eye glass “readers.” Why would someone want me when they could have one of the million 30 year olds living in the city? I felt like a failure: I managed to screw up the most serious relationship I ever had. I couldn’t even manage to save my marriage for the sake of my two very young children. There’s a lot of guilt and self-hatred that goes with getting divorced.

The good news is that you've found a woman you think you'd like to spend the rest of your life with.

The potential downside, however, is that your new romance is a package deal that includes the offspring of her prior relationship.

Maybe you hate yourself a little bit because of that.

Being in such a volatile and unhealthy relationship had really taken a toll on how I felt about myself. Hello 40’s: This might apply to any woman, married or divorced, but it’s hard to ignore the number 40.

Ghostwriter and film consultant Christina Hamlett has written professionally since 1970.

Her credits include many books, plays, optioned features, articles and interviews.

Publishers include Harper Collins, Michael Wiese Productions, "PLAYS," "Writer's Digest" and "The Writer." She holds a B. in communications (emphasis on audience analysis and message design) from California State University, Sacramento.