The girl told me directly that she wanted to fuck me.

I couldn’t see it at the time, but I had a tendency to become wildly attracted to girls who were unavailable – e.g.

already in a relationship, living far away from me, single mother with no spare time, only interested in being friends, etc.

I was too scared to share this with anyone, so I had to hide it.

After my first long-term relationship ended, during which this issue slowly went away, the problem came roaring back immediately.

This one is for the men who suspect they may have some serious psychological issues around sex, and they want to get this shit sorted but don’t know how.

And this one is for their partners – for the women who want to experience a great sex life with their man but he just seems reluctant, ashamed or physically incapable[3]. And because it’s such a big deal, many men secretly have a lot anxiety about sex[4], particularly the idea of sex with someone new and unfamiliar. Why is sex such a big deal – emotionally, physically and mentally?

Many of my clients do this; they hide from sexual opportunities behind a one-sided commitment to a “safe” girl.

I would still be pursuing girls and trying my best.

Another common recurrence for me was “oneitis” – which is an obsession with a girl who is unavailable.