This is extremely foreign to me, and I don't know what you're doing right, but it's almost unfair.

I don't believe I should be selling myself like a brand, and I don't believe it is even ethical for me, or anyone, to search through hundreds of profiles as if they were trading cards with different stats for strength, beauty, and intelligence, and then pick out what you want. A marketplace for a "special someone" is an extremely twisted idea IMHO.

To say it's not a marketplace would be to tell me "just be yourself and replies will pour in", that is NOT the case here. It's either that we don't know how to write a profile, or don't know how to write a message, or that we just take bad profile pics. It's either that we don't know how to write a profile, or don't know how to write a message, or that we just take bad profile pics.

After all, it would be truly impossible to deeply care about anyone you’ve just met, so remember that the stranger in front of you on a date shouldn’t have that much more power over your feelings or mood.

If you make sure to play a part setting up the date so you go to places you love – regardless of how the date goes – you will get better at feeling relaxed and avoid thinking about the possibility of rejection. Sometimes shy men and women can be people pleasers.

Off the bat, I’m thinking of the Maroon 5 song, “Unkiss Me.” The point of that song is that its singer, Adam Levine, wants to go back in time and avoid getting hurt.

But with shy men and women, the problem is often the opposite: They feel uncomfortable going out on a limb and kissing their date or making a move to begin with.

Instead of waiting to hear what your date suggests, have a couple ideas in mind before you actually start planning with him or her.

Say, “I’m not sure if this is your thing, but if you want to eat, we could try this place I like; if you would prefer to do some sort of activity, we could do a movie or walk through a museum.” By taking an active approach in dating, you won’t default to your shy ways as easily.

But it can be hard for a shy individual to feel super cozy with someone new and to start the conversation as if these two individuals have known each other for years.