I'm surprised he never had a legitimate breakdown on this show, but it's also Spencer, so who knows if it's all a put-on or if so many years of machinations have finally caught up with him. "A Date With the Past" (Season 3, Episode 26) Stephen Colletti shows up so Lauren can relive their relationship from .Except that all she does is drag Justin Bobby while on her date with Stephen — romantic! "You Always Miss a Best Friend" (Season 4, Episode 6) Heidi's sister Holly reaches out to Lauren when she moves to L. " (Season 1, Episode 8) Whitney tries to have a story line while she and Lauren lust over male models — one of whom is Tom Sandoval from 74. Right Now" (Season 5, Episode 19) Spencer tries to find out if Heidi is hiding a pregnancy from him, and Kristin continues this drama with Justin Bobby, Brody, and Jayde. I feel you, girl, but this episode is also pretty depressing as a result. "Meet the Parents" (Season 3, Episode 4) This is the point when you realize Lauren refuses to film with Heidi anymore (which would never fly on any reality show now — thank God for contracts). "Lauren and Jason, Part 2" (Season 1, Episode 4) Lauren thinks dating Jason is a good idea, which is insanity, but it colors all her bad decision making for the rest of the series. "Welcome to the Jungle" (Season 6, Episode 10) The 100th episode of a television show should be full of surprises, drama, and centered around the characters you love.

I can't even take this episode seriously; there's no way Audrina would ever believe that Lauren of all people would hook up with Justin Bobby. And now this two-episode story line is over and done with and it will never be heard from again. "The Company You Keep" (Season 6, Episode 7) You might have forgotten that Audrina dated Ryan Cabrera (part-time singer and, most notably, star of the beautiful piece of television known as . "I'm Done With You" (Season 5, Episode 16) Kristin tries to get Justin Bobby to commit to her, as if we haven't seen this scene a thousand times already between him and Audrina. "Ghost From the Past" (Season 6, Episode 6) Justin Bobby returns to the show for the thousandth time and this time he's in a fucking band. It's a sore replacement for the classic Lauren-Spencer-Heidi feud of past seasons. "I Want You to Be With Me" (Season 4, Episode 12) Stephanie turns into Rita Repulsa and tries inciting her boyfriend into fighting with Brody to defend her honor. " (Season 4, Episode 9) Holly gets Lauren to admit that she would be friends with Heidi again if she didn't have to put up with seeing Spencer. "A New Roommate" (Season 3, Episode 25) Lauren, Lo, and Audrina decided to get a new place together, which is totally going to end badly, since the episode is loaded with Lauren and Lo throwing shade at Audrina. This episode is mostly depressing because you realize Lauren ruined an entire summer on an idiot and Heidi and Audrina are squabbling over Spencer. "Everyone Falls" (Season 2, Episode 11) Whitney falls on 45. Meanwhile, Spencer loathes Stephanie at this point and has started dressing like he's in the Manson family. "Boys Make Girls Cry" (Season 4, Episode 4) Brody mends his relationship with Stephanie and she embarks with Lauren, Lo, and Audrina on a Vegas trip for Frankie's birthday.

If you've managed to cleanse this from your memory, I certainly won't remind you of it anymore. And speaking of Power Rangers, Audrina goes back to her Putty Patrol boyfriend Justin Bobby and ditches the cute Aussie. Audrina tries dating this hot guy named Colin, but she can't kick her Justin Bobby habit. It's never been more obvious that this show was before the invention of Tinder. "Paris Changes Everything" (Season 3, Episode 19) Lauren has a magical trip to Paris while Heidi and Spencer's relationship crumbles. "No Place Like Home" (Season 3, Episode 27) Lo literally cannot stand Audrina, and her facial expressions make me sad that this show wasn't around during the Tumblr era. Audrina and Justin Bobby bail on the club to avoid drama with Lauren and Lo, but there's drama when Frankie shows up the next morning and says Doug and Brody got arrested. "Something Has to Change" (Season 4, Episode 5) Brody and Doug's "night in jail" turns out to be nothing.

I'd sooner believe Audrina is friends with the Flintstones' pet dinosaur, Dino, than this flagrant chicanery. "Break-Up to Make-Up" (Season 6, Episode 9) Mc Kaela? I keep forgetting she's on this show, but congrats on the sobriety. "Young Hollywood" (Season 3, Episode 13) Heidi spends a lonely 21st-birthday party with just Spencer. The Di Mera family of needs to get their mojo back. We're still involved in the same romantic entanglements of Brody and Audrina and Kristin, and now Stephanie is trying to date while sober. Now Heidi can fall for the true love of her life, Spencer Pratt. "Big Girls Don't Cry" (Season 3, Episode 2) The first appearance of Justin Bobby! Maybe Spencer and Lauren are more alike than they want to admit. "New Year, New Friends" (Season 2, Episode 9) It's New Year's and Heidi is still torn between Spencer and Lauren, but on a positive note, Lo Bosworth has finally joined the cast (in a supporting role for now, but the world, and yet, somehow, she still can't find an interesting story line. "For Better or Worse" (Season 3, Episode 8) Lauren thought she was gonna get cozy with Jason again, but surprise, he has a girlfriend and he's engaged. I know the show has always been used to cross-promote bands, but this is egregious.

Sometimes the behind-the-scenes machinations make for great television, as we'll find on the better episodes of the series. This show is officially going through the motions with only seven episodes left. "Stress and the City" (Season 3, Episode 12) Lauren and Whitney go to NYC, meet Marc "Yours to Try" Jacobs, and for the first time, popular music is played on the show instead of whatever white-girl acoustic band the music department has been using for most episodes. In other egregious news, Heidi's cowboy dad shows up to cause drama for Spencer, and Lauren takes far too long to fire Stephanie. "Sorry Boo, Strike Two" (Season 5, Episode 15) Wait, this alcoholism thing might be serious.

If you're filming a reality show with orchestrated story lines, what do you do when your real life starts to get in the way? "Jason's Birthday" (Season 1, Episode 5) Jason [] ignores Lauren during his birthday party. "Enough Is Enough" (Season 2, Episode 8) Heidi goes to Santa Barbara with Spencer and Lauren is upset she didn't come back when she said she would so they could have dinner. "If you really care, you make the effort," espouses Whitney, human paragraph of exposition. But Kristin, ever the story line generator, is hanging out with Brody now and having shouting matches with Jayde at nightclubs. "Once a Player" (Season 3, Episode 17) Brody and Lauren talk about their non-relationship, which shockingly doesn't become a real one during this episode! "Loves Me Not" (Season 6, Episode 11) This is the penultimate episode of the series, so Heidi and Holly's mom shows up to L. and they talk about Heidi like she's dead since she's no longer on the show. "One Last Chance" (Season 4, Episode 15) Heidi begs for her job back while her sister begs for a couch to sleep on at Lauren's. Showing up for 10 minutes for the cameras is really hard. "Strike One" (Season 5, Episode 13) Kristin is friends with Stacie the Bartender, who has now found her entryway into the show. Meanwhile, some things stay constant — Brody acts like a dick by hanging out with Kristin when it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable, and Justin Bobby, who's sorta dating Kristin, bails on her just like he always did with Audrina.

Everything reality television is now, it learned from most manufactured drama this show has ever attempted. Get the fuck out of here, Season 3 levels of "who?! "Old Habits Die Hard" (Season 5, Episode 14) Holly is an alcoholic for one episode and then decides she's going to stop drinking. "Truth and Time Tells All" (Season 3, Episode 3) Lauren is pressed about ANOTHER one of her friend's boyfriends. The Pratt-Montags aren't nearly as fun when they're down and out as they are when they're scheming and destroying people's lives. " (Season 3, Episode 15) For some nonsense reason, Spencer keeps trying to push Heidi to elope. Meanwhile, Lauren tries to find Whitney a boyfriend so she has something to do on the show. "A New Bird" (Season 6, Episode 5) The show is odd without Heidi and Spencer around. "Love Is Not a Maybe Thing" (Season 1, Episode 9) BYE, JORDAN. Of course none of these relationships feel real or as important this time around; it's just sort of dating charades. "Rolling With the Enemy" (Season 3, Episode 5) Spencer breaks up with Brody because he's hanging out with Lauren. "Father of the Bride" (Season 5, Episode 8) The White Tie Affair, a band seemingly created just for this show, has two lead members that flirt with Audrina and Stephanie.

Here we are at America's first true foray into fake scripted drama, and it's as beautiful as you remember. "I'm Done With You" (Season 5, Episode 3) dips back into the comedy well by having Lauren get Stephanie a job at People's Revolution, and Heidi confronts Stacie the Bartender at some dive bar. " (Season 3, Episode 22) Spencer and Heidi find out that Stephanie went to Lauren's birthday party, which isn't nearly as explosive as you'd imagine. "Timing Is Everything" (Season 1, Episode 10) "She's going to always be known as the girl who didn't go to Paris." Lauren picks hanging out with Jason during the summer over going to Paris. Lauren, for her part, actually consoles Stephanie after Brody makes her cry — until she catches Stephanie in another lie of omission about a second date with Doug. With Whitney gone and Lauren's return for Season 5 up in the air, we get an emotional moment between Heidi and Lauren for the finale.

It's all very funny, because Heidi is best when she's actually fighting with someone and not crying about Lauren for the umpteenth time. The best part of the episode actually comes from Whitney, Lo, and Audrina cackling like the three witches from when Stephanie shows up at the birthday party. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. They break up shortly after she picks him over Paris. "Don't Act Innocent" (Season 4, Episode 8) Brody drags Stephanie at a pool party for going out with Doug behind Lauren's back, but is conveniently not an asshole to Doug. Sis needs to call up Spencer and learn how to tell a lie. "What Goes Around" (Season 3, Episode 10) Jen Bunney returns just so we can discuss Lauren's SEX TAPE RUMOR again. "Apology Not Accepted" (Season 2, Episode 10) Lauren is on some wack B. where she blames Jen for hooking up with Brody and doesn't blame Brody. Seeing Lauren hug a crying Heidi is a truly earned moment after four seasons of their roller coaster of a relationship.

They end up spending the night together in his room, and while Brody claims nothing happened, literally no one else believes it.